Hosts’ With The Mosts’

It’s so true.

I was blasting some Bassnectar and cleaning my home in preparation for hosting Vanessa’s family tomorrow. I have to say, while hosting can be a lot of work, it’s so worth it because otherwise I think I would just live in my own filth.

Honestly, I find it so difficult to get motivated to clean unless I have people coming over. If I didn’t host a UFC night once a month my home would be literally overrun with dirty dishes and dust bunnies.

Because I was so busy today became my rest day from exercise and because I worked so hard I also made it my cheat day for my diet. I’m not sure you should have your rest day and cheat day on the same day, but not sweating my balls off and eating a South St. Burger was pretty fucking awesome.

However, the combination of a full busy day and crappy food has left me quite exhausted and in need of some sleep. I will admit though it was a nice reminder that while fast food tastes amazing, it just leaves you feeling so shitty, and South St. Burger Co. is actually pretty good as their beef is traditionally raised and the fries are actually New York Fries.

I shudder to think of how McDonald’s would make me feel.

Alrighty, off to bed.

PS

The Man-Cave is soooo close to completetion!

 

Return Of The Everyday Normal Guy

…And this time he’s brought his crew.

I hope you found that amusing because that’s all I got.

Peace out motherfuckers.

I’m Coconuts For Coconuts!

Okay totally inappropriate!

What I mean to say is, umm, what was I saying?

Oh yeah, coconuts!

I’m not  a big fan of taking pills so I’ve been doing a lot of research on foods that will give me the vitamins and minerals I need and time and time again I came across articles talking about the benefits of coconut oil. The more I read about it the more intrigued I became and what I learned was shocking, but I’ve said it before and I will say it again, I should stop being shocked to discover that money makes the world go round. Basically during the World War I (or World War II, I don’t know which, do I look like a history teacher) the good old US of A was broke and in order to save money they began using cheaper oils, such as hydrogenated vegetable oils, and when it was later discovered that hydrogenated oils were causing heart disease Big Business did what they always do and began a campaign to vilify their competitors, and long story short, it worked.

Now anyone who gives a shit about what they put in their body will look at the nutritional information first, and one of the first things you look for is the fat content of the product, the type of fat it is, and we all know saturated fats are bad for us right?

Wrong.

First off, no one bothered to tell us that their are two different types of saturated fat, those that come from animals and those that are plant based, and each one falls in to a different category. Coconut oil is a medium chain fat which does not convert to fat but goes directly to the liver to be processed effectively into energy and actually sets of a chain of events casing your liver to dump it’s own fat stores, allowing it to function at a higher level and increases you metabolism. The end result is actually weight loss, and not just weight loss but midsection weight loss that most of us beer bellies desire.

The the list of benefits of this oil are quite long and I urge everyone to do their own research. I actually just switched to Virgin Coconut oil that has not been bleached or deodorized so it retains its flavor and odor and it has resulted in some tasty dishes.

Or you could skip the research and buy some virgin coconut oil and follow my new favorite recipe:

4 egg whites

shredded cheese (30g)

chopped green onion

1/4 almond milk (or milk whatever)

Chopped spinach (80g)

2 tsp of virgin coconut oil

Saute spinach in pan with 1 tsp coconut oil, mix rest of ingredients in another pan, and then mix it all together in one pan to finish and what you get is a super low carb, and delicious, breakfast in about 5 minutes.

I’ve also used it instead of vegetable oil to make pancakes, french toast, re-fry pasta, the uses are endless. If you’re not on a diet go ahead and heat up 3 or 4 table spoons of coconut oil and melt a Jersey Milk chocolate bar in it and pour it over ice cream, it freezes in to a delicious shell over your ice cream like the old school vanilla cone dips from the creepy guy selling ice cream from a truck. Think about it, all that goodness and no creepy guy talking to your kids, win win if you ask me.

here is a short video of a smart looking man talking about coconut oil. He looks really smart.

NHL Stanley Cup Playoff Predictions 2012

It pains me greatly that my Maple Leafs are not taking part in this years playoff race. Obviously this has to do with our extended absence from the playoffs, but it hurts more this year because for three quarters of this season we were all set to make our return. The huge, unprecedented collapse has been discussed at length already so I just wanted to one last time voice my disappointment.

So moving forward lets take a look at this years first round match-ups.

Lets start with the East shall we?

1. New York Rangers vs. 8. Ottawa Senators

Let me start by saying that I really hate the Ottawa Senators, so my opinion on how this series will play out may be biased and you may not want to place any bets based on what I say here. Simply put the Senators squeaked into the playoffs and will be put out of their misery quick and painlessly by the Rangers. These are two excellent goaltenders however so my money will be on low scoring games, but the Sens are just outclassed by a talented Rangers team. Had Washington not skipped ahead to the 7th seed on the final day of the season I think the Rangers might have been in trouble, but as it stands the Rangers will easily advance to the second round.

Rangers in 4

2. Boston Bruins vs. Washington Capitals

Let me once again begin by acknowledging my hatred of said team, this time the Boston Bruins. Fuck the Bruins. That being said, I really don’t think it would have mattered to me who the Capitals faced in the first round I would put my money on them advancing. In previous years the Caps breezed in to the playoffs as the favorites and they’ve come up short every time. This year is different however as this is the first year they actually faced some adversity making the playoffs, but thankfully for them they got hot at the right time and steam rolled their way in.

While most people were talking about the Leafs trying to catch Washington in the 8th spot I always knew it was Ottawa we were chasing, but either way, the Leafs came up short and the Caps are in the playoffs playing some of the best hockey they’ve played all year. Expectations for Washington to do anything this season disappeared long ago and I think that’s a huge reason as to why they were able to turn it around. Boston has seen some injuries to key personnel in (Horton and Rask) and Tim Thomas has looked far too human this season to think he can win more than a couple games this round. Boston had a long terrible start to the season, followed by a ridiculously good month or two, followed by a lot of .500 hockey. Not only do I think Washington defeats the defending Stanley Cup champion Bruins, I think they will win the East.

Capitals in 6

3. Florida Panthers vs. 6. New Jersey Devils

While I’m impressed with Florida’s play this season, which was a direct result of excellent off-season acquisitions, they would have been better off not winning their division because drawing the Devils for the first round is not an ideal situation for them, or anyone for that matter. The Devils are like the Red Wings of the East, they are a solid organization who drafts well, plays a great defensive game with all players buying in to the system, and the signing of Kovalchuck is finally starting to pay dividends.

But like I said, the Panthers do have a good team with solid goal-tending from Jose Theodore so I’m not predicting a sweep but if Brodeur doesn’t get you, Hedberg will.

Devils in 6

4. Pittsburgh Penguins vs. 5. Philadelphia Flyers

This series has the potential to be the series of the decade. For those that don’t follow hockey that closely should know this is the same type of rivalry that Toronto has with Ottawa, except they are both really good teams. The goal-tenders for both teams have been terribly inconsistent, especially as of late, and neither has a decent back-up, so I foresee some real barn burners. You have your subplots with Jager and Talbot being ex Penguins, Malkin having a career year, and Crosby returning from his second concussion.

If you can only watch one series this playoffs this is the one.

As to who I think is going to win…fucked if I know. But since I’m making predictions I will have to lean towards the team with home ice.

Penguins in 7

On to the West

1. Vancouver Canucks vs. 8. Los Angeles Kings

I have to admit up front my knowledge of teams in the West is a bit lacking for obvious reasons but I will do my best. Vancouver has captured the Presidents trophy for the second year in a row and I don’t think it makes a lick of difference one way or the other, it’s just a feather in their cap really, because the West is a super tight conference and I think the Conference title is completely up for grabs.

Last I heard Daniel Sedin had a concussion and I have no idea if he is expected to return in time to play in this round, but if he’s unavailable that might make all the difference in the world. The Kings spent most of the last little while holding on to their Division title and ended up losing it on the last day of the season dropping them to the 8th spot, so don’t be fooled by that turn of events, this is a very good team with very good goaltending.

The problem that has plagued LA most of the season is a near complete lack of offence and they tried to address that issue by acquiring Jeff Carter at the trade deadline but his injury woes have kept him from making much of an impact. Much like the Rangers and Sens I think this will be a real low scoring series with many one goal games, and lots of overtime played.

I’m not exactly a big Canuck fan so it pains me to say I think Vancouver takes this series based on playoff experience alone, but look for LA goalie Jonathan Quick to make it an interesting series.

Canucks in 7

2. St. Louis Blues vs. 7. San Jose Sharks

When it comes to the playoffs it seems like the Sharks are always getting the short end of the stick because this year they have drawn the Blues as their first round match-up and I don’t see them winning it, which means another early exit for them. The Sharks have good goal tendings but the Blues have great goaltending. I foresee the Sharks getting frustrated by Elliot and Harding and getting forced in to playing a very defensively loose game and, as they have done all year, the Blues will take advantage of that with a solid group of two-way forwards.

This will be the first round sweep in the West.

Blues in 4

Phoenix Coyotes vs. The Chicago Blackhawks

The Coyotes are of the feel good stories in the NHL, a team that a few seasons ago was on the brink of Bankruptcy and possibly moving to another city, and now they have won their Division and are looking to do some damage in the playoffs. Except I think they made a huge mistake winning their division and have now drawn the Blackhawks as their first round opponent, a team with more points, a better record, and a buttload more talent.

This will be the upset in the West (only in the sense that the 6 seed will have beaten the 3 seed I really don’t think Phoenix is the favorite regardless of the standings)

Blackhawks in 6

4. Nashville Predators vs. 5. Detroit Red Wings

The number 4 and 5 seeds in the West had the same battles that the 4 and 5 seeds had in the east, in that in the final days of the season each were jockeying for home ice advantage and playing against each other. In the East Pittsburgh won and in the West it was the Predators who won, sending Detroit a message by beating them in the motor city to take home ice advantage for the first round.

I admittedly am always predicting an early exit for the Wings and rarely am I right, but this year I think the Preds have got their number, in fact, I think the Preds have everyone’s number because I think they’re going to take the Conference. The Wings are a bit beaten up right now, and they have been for some time, and I think they have some serious goaltending issues and not enough time to figure them out. If it were me deciding I would be starting Joey MacDonald game one but I’m not the coach and I think they’ll obviously go with Jimmy Howard and before the realize they’ve made a mistake it will be too late and neither Conklin nor MacDonald will be able to bail them out.

Predators in 5

So lets see how this all plays out and I will then make some predictions for the second round but as of right now my Stanley Final Prediction is:

The Washington Capitals vs. The Nashville Predators

American Pie IV

Even though some of you might not be aware there have been many more than 4 American Pie films, but I will refer to this as part 4 since it is the fourth film with the original cast and all of the other are just movies cashing-in on a franchise name.

So in the original American Pie films you had a bunch of 20 something’s playing teenager’s and now in this fourth installment we have a bunch of 30 somethings playing….30 somethings, appropriate I guess, but I think this movie would have been much better is the reunited with these characters in their 50’s, but I’m sure that film is still to come, so why not cash in on their 30’s right?

And really, this film is just as much of a cash grab as the Non-American-Pie-American-Pie-films, and while the cast may not have gotten the memo, or the executive producers for that matter (Jason Biggs and Sean William Scott), the studio knew that it was and it was apparent in the execution of both the direction and the writing. The word on the street is Sean William Scott, the only relevant actor of the bunch, approached the studio to get the film made and sadly he seems to be the only one trying to make it worth while.

Jason Biggs is the exact same character he’s been in every movie he’s ever been in, American Pie and beyond, Chris Klein seems to be the only actor to have actually improved his craft. The other two guys, Thomas Ian Nicholas and Eddie Kaye Thomas, remind us why their careers went no where after American pie, and Sean William Scott goes back to the roots of what made him such an appealing actor in the first place, his balls-to-the-wall-over-the-top delivery in each and every scene. Oh and Tara Reid has not only not gotten any better as an actor she some how found a way to get worse.

Not much thought or effort went in to the screenplay and everything you expect to happen happens with nothing exciting of note that made, at least the first two, films worth watching. The cameo’s had to be the worst parts, it almost seemed as if they were never really sure if they could land a number of the actors, especially the ones who haven’t worked for the past decade, and when they did show up on set they didn’t have a whole lot for them to do. The there were the cameos with John Cho and Neil Patrick Harris that ended up just feeling like wasted opportunities.

The only thing redeeming about the film was the previously criminally underused Eugene Levy as he completely stole every scene he was in and  had a huge hand in that nasty trick shitty comedies will do in saving one final hilarious joke for the credits so every one leaves the theater deceptively happy.

My recommendation is to keep expectations low and wait until it comes out on DVD where hopefully an Unrated version can boost a few of the previously listless laughs.

The only saving grace for the evening was the fucking asshole who brought their infant to a rated R film and sat their while he wailed and cried throughout. How the hell is that a saving grace you ask? well, Vanessa politely complained afterwards and we got some free passes. Sadly the baby wasn’t even the worst of it, the two assholes behind us who’s commentary somehow managed to be even more unfunny then the actual film, had me annoyed the entire time, like he was saying ridiculous things, like, “Uh oh, here comes Stifler!” as if wanted us all to know that he had seen the previous movies.

I’m telling you right now, you’re going to turn on the news one night and hear a story about a dude completly losing his shit in a movie theater and you’re going to know it’s me. Crying babies and color commentary! how do you not know that’s simply unacceptable behavior? And from personal experience I know if I confront these assholes they’ll get bent out of shape and act as if I’m the asshole.

Seriously, the first moment someone asks for volunteers to colonize the moon I’m signing up immediately, I want off this planet.

Anyways, what was I saying? oh yeah American Reunion sucks, save your money for Cabin In The Woods!

Eater Is For Cheaters or I Love Mondays

So lately I’ve been experimenting with a Cheat Day once a week during my diet, which is to say my Will Power is waning as my results begin to slow down. I’ve been hovering in and around 205 Lbs for two weeks now and I’ve been noticing my appetite increase the harder I work out, which is something I should have accounted for and I simply didn’t. This increased appetite has caused me to revert to some of my old, bad habits as I try to satiate this new found appetite with junk food as it’s always a quick fix to feel full. So once a week I’ve been throwing the diet out the window and using my eye’s, instead of my brain, to choose my foods. I say cheating but really it’s not as bad as I’m making it sound because it’s not as if I’m out there pounding back Baconators, it’s stupid stuff like having real bacon instead of the lean pork or having a couple cookies after my turkey sandwich. Thankfully this “cheating” has not resulted in weight gain and has only left me stalled in my weight loss.

To make matters worse I’m having this diet crisis during Easter and instead of a cheat day it’s exploded into a cheat weekend. I had my family dinner at my brother’s on Saturday which wasn’t too bad with the ham, mashed potato’s, and carrots, but the desserts did me in with the cupcakes and cannelloni, which were my contribution to the dinner so I have no one to blame but myself. Things only got worse today at Vanessa’s family dinner of roast beef, fried potato’s, Italian bruschetta and a delicious cheesecake for dessert. I am not looking forward to tomorrow’s weigh-in. The drinking didn’t help either (my diet or my poker skills)

Thankfully tomorrow is Monday, and I love Mondays. For me, Monday’s represent a day to start fresh and renew your commitments.

A day to say, “Okay, I screwed up, time to fix it, and move forward, because what we do today shall echo in eternity”

Melodrama aside this is really something that you can do any day of the week, but for me, Monday is always that day. So tomorrow I will wake up early, take my exercise regime to a new level, and tweak my diet to be something healthier than it was last week. So that means the elliptical machine is the new walking, I will cut carbs from my breakfast, and I will start the 100 push-ups 4 week pre-program.

Happy Easter

It’s the long week-end and I am full of delicious ham and it is clogging up my creative juices so I will borrow heavily from other people’s creativity for your viewing pleasure.

Surprise Visit From The Easter Bunny

I am so doing that to my kids, I’ll just do it way less creepy than that guy.

Easter Egg Perspective

Meh, not as funny as it should have been.

The Easter Bunny Hates You

Way funnier than it should have been. My favorite was the “Oh-No-You-Didn’t” circle in Time Square

WTF?

Khan totally won that sh!t

And finally, lets not forget that Easter is a religious holiday.

Jesus vs The Easter Bunny

Television: The Dark Ages

It’s 2:00 AM and I am far too tired to do a proper blog. I have many good ideas but don’t have the energy or concentration to do any of them any justice tonight.

So instead I will post a link to an interesting article I found. The FOX network has it’s 25th anniversary coming up and it’s planning on doing a special covering 25 years of great TV and having a few reunions while their at it (That 70’s Show will be reuniting for instance) and this article lists many of the shows FOX will not be honoring that night.

Many of these shows were so terrible they would now be considered good just for the sheer entertainment value of their terribleness. The sad thing is that I enjoyed at least half of them before they were cancelled. One show in particular, The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. , is one I remember well because I was so pissed off when they cancelled it.

I’ll never understand why Bruce Campbell didn’t become popular in the main stream, he’s like the greatest actor ever.

 

Anyways, here’s the link to the article, it’s a fun read, so many television shows you totally forgot about: http://www.vulture.com/2012/04/25-weirdest-wackiest-shows-foxs-25-years.html?imw=Y?mid=facebook_vulture

And for old times sake here is some Brisco:

 

R.I.P. SOCOM

SOCOM : Special Operations Command 

It’s been nearly 10 years since I was first introduced to SOCOM. For those of you that don’t know, SOCOM is a video game for the PS3 developed by a company called Zipper Interactive who were one of the pioneers for online console gaming. I say “were” because I just discovered that 2 days ago Sony shut the division down and laid off all the employee’s.

It was my brother who gave me my first copy of SOCOM complete with a wired head set and back then the controller was wired too. I’d never heard of the game before and I wasn’t really into Shooters but I thought I’d give it a go. The offline game itself was fun I suppose, but this was the first time I was taking a game “online” and it blew my fucking mind.

You would log in, and back then it took like 10 whole minutes compared to the few seconds it takes now-a-days, and you would join a game which consisted of two different sides, Navy Seals vs. Terrorists, with 8 players per side. The players were made up of people logged in from all over the world and we all had microphones and we could actually talk to each other. This type of game play is fairly common today but 10 years ago this was some seriously futuristic shit man.

I was hooked.

I would play night and day, as much as I could, there simply weren’t enough hours in the day. I went through two PS2’s and two PS3’s with this game, each year a new incarnation would be released and I would be at Futureshop the day it was released, for years my PS2 was simply my “SOCOM machine” because I wouldn’t play anything else.

As I got older I used SOCOM to satiate my competitive desires since I had moved on to college and organized sports just wasn’t what it used to be. I also used it as medication for my stress issues because whenever I was playing SOCOM my brain would mercifully turn off and it was one of the few tools that worked to help me relax.

10 years later and gone are all the wires, with everything using blue tooth technology, terrorists are now referred to as “Mercenaries”,and I’m now on what I think is my seventh SOCOM title and to be honest I really didn’t like it as much, a lot of it had been changed to try and emulate Modern Warfare Black Ops  type games which made it a completely different game really.

So I recently blew the dust of my SOCOM: Confrontation game and relived the past with all of the other SOCOM purists and today I get the news that Zipper had been shut down and my heart dropped. It’s only a matter of time now before they shut down the SOCOM servers and SOMCOM will be no more. I would say roughly %90 of the gaming I’ve done over the past 10 years has been SOCOM related so I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do when I want to get the competitive juices flowing or just want to turn my brain off for a couple of hours.

Life goes on I suppose but I feel like I’m losing a close friend.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, this is how I pictured what all of my online competition looked like.

What? it’s probable.

Okay fine it was probably this guy

Jerks.

He’s A Poet, But Did You Know It?

                                                                                                  

The art of rhythmical composition, written or spoken, for exciting pleasure by beautiful, imaginative, or elevated thoughts.

Today I wrote a Facebook status update telling anyone who cares that I was heading out on my 10k walk and that I was listening to Brother Ali and I realized that there might not be many people who know who that is. I was first exposed to Brother Ali while listening to a Classified tune entitled Maybe It’s Me, it’s a great tune and I couldn’t help but be curious as to who this Brother Ali guy was, have a listen.

I saw this video before having heard the song and I was in the kitchen doing dishes and when I heard Brother Ali and I had to stop what I was doing to duck in to the living room to see who it was because the flow was so unique. Needless to say he didn’t look anything like I suspected and a quick trip to wikipedia told me his story, detailing his struggles growing up as an Albino and being legally blind, it’s an interesting read, but his music really tells the story of his life.

Once I started listening to it I couldn’t stop.

It was probably the first time in my life that I compared music to poetry because I finally understood what it meant for someone’s words to strike a cord with me an evoke that kind of emotion. I’ve always been a fan of music and I would say my tastes were eclectic only because there is very little forms of music I dislike and I will regularly listen to Rock, Rap, Folk, and Pop and if I had to pick a favorite it would have to be Hip Hop.

Back in the day when I would attend Rave’s (before they got weird with glow sticks and pacifiers) I would partake in some recreational drugs and dance for a solid 6 to 8 hours. So for me, music has always, and mostly, been about a good beat, something that sounded pleasant and made me want to dance or at least bounce a leg and nod my head.

Llistening to Brother Ali, and to a lesser extent Atmosphere, whom I’ve been listening to for a much longer time and is part of the same Rhymsayers Entertainment record label, it’s the lyrics I found so enthralling. There are so many songs out there that if you listen to the words it’s just ridiculous garbage but almost each and every Brother Ali track is like a poem, each one is a story or a message and it’s real. It’s not some Emo pop star singing about a relationship that never happened going bad, or some rapper rapping about rapping.

This next song is an interesting example of his political views, it’s called Uncle Sam Goddamn. It’s also a badass tune.

 

There’s also the funny stuff though, it’s not all doom and gloom, this one called Dorian is him telling a story about getting in to a fight with his neighbor and it still has more substance that %90 of the stuff you’ll hear on the radio.

I could go on and on because the dude has 4 albums (and they’re all awesome) with a new one due out this summer. If you were to pick and choose a handful of tunes from each album you could definitely make a good workout play list. This last one, Champion, is my favorite to get me pumped up.

Do yourself a favor and listen to some of his music, but make sure you really listen, because it’s his lyrics that raises him up above the rest.

Enjoy.